FORBIDDEN FRUIT (Part 1)
- Kevin Kishor
- Nov 20, 2018
- 2 min read
Why do we want what we can't have?
The subtitle here says it all...but do you agree we often want what we can't have?
Saying "can't" is difficult these days because we live in a culture that encourages us to have whatever we want, even if it breaks moral/ethical boundaries. So maybe the question that applies best in today's world is; why do want what we don't have?
For years I've seen this in all types of Relationships. Kids are not happy with the Parents they got stuck with and sometimes vice versa. Players complain about their Coaches, Employees about their Bosses, Brothers about their Sisters, even Congregations complain about their Pastors or Musicians so they Church shop and the list goes on.
Ironically, I would argue that although this concept might have the greatest impact or power in Romantic Relationships, it possibly happens the least frequently there. I mean it is way more common or expected in the examples I mentioned in the previous paragraph because in those situations a person rarely gets a choice. We don't get to choose our Parents or Kids, etc. But Romantic Relationships is one of the rare times we usually get the chance to "pre-qualify" the other person. Isn't this the whole reason for dating, online profiles and the checklists we have for the person we want to end up with?
I obviously plan to explore this idea further in Part 2 of "Forbidden Fruit" but for now I just want to raise the topic and draw our attention to how this plays out in so many relationships we have everyday. Do you see yourself struggling with this at work, home, school, etc.?
I want to tell you that you are not crazy, alone, or even selfish (well most of the time). I believe we all battle with this restlessness of course in different ways and to different degrees. But the important thing is to recognize:
1. That we are looking for something else.
2. Consider are we doing it in all/most of our relationships?
3. Start to ask ourselves why are we unhappy and... is there a chance it could be more about us than the other people?
In next week's post I might propose some possible solutions. I don't or won't often offer "solutions" because I strongly believe we usually have the answers within us. Rather I prefer to try and find the right questions to help us get there.
Thank you for reading this week, please share and I love hearing your comments/messages!
Sincerely,
KK.
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