SETS YOU FREE?
- Kevin Kishor
- Mar 6, 2019
- 3 min read
We all say we want it but...
Often the truth hurts, so do we really want it?
Last month we spent the month just touching on Love & Romance so it is only fitting we start to look into things involved with Intimacy. So even though my Blog/Book is not only for Romantic Relationships but all, I'm going to continue in the same spirit for now. Truth is one of the hottest buttons in my opinion when it comes to building or maintaining Intimacy in a relationship. However, this can apply to any type of relationship for sure.
I believe both statements are true about truth, it can set us free and it often hurts.
Its ironic that people can live very happy relationships without telling the truth and it often works better in terms of keeping people together to not be truthful.
When people are honest about who they really are, what they really think, what they really struggle with, what they really want, how they really feel - it tends to crush the other person I've found.
I think people are crushed by the real truth because of many reasons, here are a few:
1. Expectations of the kind of person they think you are or want you to be.
2. Unrealistic understanding of how reality works.
3. Blind faith in others. (Naivety)
So I guess I am really questioning whether or not we really want the truth in our relationships or if we just say we do because that is what we're supposed to want. For example, I've known of many couples who have stayed together for years, even though one person has always had a sense the other person is doing things that they don't really want to know the truth about. I find it strange because they might know in their heart but are just not asking about it because hearing the truth would be too hard and force them likely to have to make a decision. However, even though the truth hasn't been spoken out in that situation or the person hasn't been caught, I think it is a strange lie they're living by avoiding the truth but deep down know it anyway - make sense, do you agree?
People can tell the truth out of love and also out of malice as well. We know that sometimes if we say something the person may or may not want to hear its probably going to hurt them. But we are called to weigh out the cost - is it more important for them to know the truth even if it will hurt, and does it bring us some strange joy to burst their bubble? Or on the flip side, if we're doing it out of love, how can we best go about it? Believe me I struggle with this just as much as the next person!
A saying I heard once and we have often reminded our kids even still as Co-Parents to use as a marker is...before you say something it is always best to ask ourselves...
1. Is it true?
2. Is it necessary?
3. Will it be helpful?
Maybe these simple considerations can help us speak truth but in love & kindness.
As always I thank you for reading, commenting & sharing.
Please go get the Book on Amazon and tell others!
See you next week.
Sincerely,
KK.
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